Snow, Snow Everywhere.

Welcome to Denver Colorado, where we will probably have 2 feet of snow on the ground and the Governor Bill Owens (R) has declared a state of emergency, but wait a minute. There is no National Guard in Colorado. They've been sent to Iraq. Oh well. Just hope we don't lose power. There have been some big snow storms, but the 4th big blizzard in my 24 years of living in this state. My first winter here was the blizzard of 1982.


Kind of disappointed because I may not be able to make my counseling session tomorrow. Right now, just got to write some of my thoughts down. In private. Just to get them out. Trying to take a song that I have heard recently to heart.


Lyrics apply to me a lot as of late:

It's over your head
And you don't seem to understand
One word I say
And you can't live your life
Trying to run away

You're fighting your friends
You're wearing everybody out
But it never ends
You're wearing me out

(chorus)
Come on
Reach out
And let somebody in your life

Don't get me wrong
You always apologize
It's just your way
Of making a scene
You need to be loved
It's not such a crime

Come on
Reach out
And let somebody in your life

Over your head
You just don't seem to understand
One word I say
And you can't live your life
You got so much love
It's burning inside


Come on
Reach out
And let somebody in your life

Just got to keep it in mind.

And the blogger people can't seem to make up their mind. Beta blogger is dead. Long live beta blogger. The new format's the same. I guess the name beta just died. Who knows.

Went to "An Inconvenient Truth" house party last night.

Pretty low-key affair. Though they were going on all over the country. But we participated in a conference call with Al Gore, watched the movie and wrote postcards to our congressman (unfortunately for me, that would be Tom Tancredo). Once that was over, I went home. I keep reflecting on ways that I could reduce my part of the emissions. Change a few habits, etc. The bus to work isn't practical for me for many reasons. Too bad I don't work downtown. I'd take lightrail. I will have to buy the DVD, if I don't get it for Christmas.

That was after having gone to a cat shelter for a few hours. I keep thinking that I would like to get a cat. I worry about money. Especially since I have gone into therapy to figure out how to fix myself. I have a lot of ground to cover. I need to look into healthcare coverage, but that will be difficult, I'm sure.

"We need to raise the voting age to 40."

Okay. This is a quickie. I had seen the results from the race in Texas' 23rd Congressional district and the end result is another pickup for the Democrats. Appearently the right-wing bloggers are shitting bricks over this and they are complaining about how the youth vote along with illegals is responsible. So, their solution. Raise the voting age to 40. God these people are fucking retarded.


http://www.dailykos.com/story/2006/12/13/05030/834


On another note, Ed Perlmutter, the guy I helped to put in Congress has been assigned to financial services. http://www.insidedenver.com/drmn/government/article/0,2777,DRMN_23906_5208440,00.html

Need to be honest right now.

Well, first off, tonight I went to a celebration by the Ritter campaign. It was fun. They were at the Grizzly Rose and I remember some of the people from Salazar's campaign two years ago. I was gratified to have the chance to tell the Governor-elect "Good Luck". Just one more month until he takes office. I hope to participate in the inaguration. Though I sometimes feel I don't deserve to be there because I spent most of my time working for Perlmutter and didn't help Ritter that much, but I am glad to have gotten the email about that party so I could go.

Well, now, on to the cruxt of my post tonight. I will admit that I have been struggling with depression. I don't entirely understand what I am going through. Because I can be upbeat sometimes. I can tell jokes, I can be conversational and charming and then other times, I can be depressed and very distant. The depression has probably existed for a long time, but has gone on for the last 4 years. Though I will say, these last 2 years have been better than the 2 before them. But the fact is, I feel like I am at a crossroads. Sometimes I don't know who I am anymore. Am I the social, charming and humerous guy, or the morose, depressed and and remote guy. One person suggested that I am by choice evolving towards being the former after having been the latter. I feel that may be true. But the struggle I am in is very intense. I am dealing with socialization issues, as well as personal self-worth issues. Under those circumstances, I have decided to get help. I am worried about money, but am hoping to be okay. Even though I don't have health insurance. My first session is on Thursday.

I will say this. I know that while I am struggling, I may have hurt some of my friends. To them, I want to say (again if necessary) I am sorry. Very sorry for the way that I have treated you. I don't want to lose any of you. I don't want you to cut me out of your lives. Being part of them means the world to me. Having you ask me to do things with you does as well. I have realized that I have hurt many of you and I am working to get help before I hurt you more as well as destroy myself. I will work to be as positive and upbeat as I can be and have been. It may take time for me to reach what I want to reach in life, but I will reach it. Right now, I have to own up to my problem. Thank you all for your understanding.

Watching and rewatching "The West Wing".

Okay, so the engine that powers my blog has just been updated. Well, I have the first two seasons of "The West Wing" on DVD. I got them for my birthday. Also, I have been rewatching the Seventh season via mail-in DVD's from Blockbuster. It has come to the point that the Seventh Season is probably my favorite West Wing Season. It is the one that I have a personal frame of reference for. It deals with a Presidential campaign to succeed Jed Bartlett as President of the United States with Matthew Santos and deals with yourCampaign mistakes, the opponent's mistakes and who has the momentum, all leading up to the moment of truth. Victory or defeat. Having campaigned for Ken Salazar's Senate campaign in 2004, and Ed Perlmutter's congressional campaign in 2006, it is relatable. Though I was on a smaller scale since it wasn't a Presidential race. But, just some ruminations. I was thinking on this snowy, lazy day. Want to stay in tonight because I will be at the Broncos game tomorrow night and it will be cold. Got to get the wool socks and pants out.